Still feeling very stressed about college.I think it started from Flash animation class the other day.Perhaps I was too tired but I did not understand much about the class.Don't even know how to start.And then I saw the seniors work looks very nice,and some of our classmates also going to finish the assignment,but I still haven't started.I have to go for class again on Monday together with group 1 for sure.Another thing is that I don't feel as comfortable animating with a tablet as with pencil and paper.

Maybe it is compounded because I haven't started marker rendering either because I haven't bought thinner yet.I tried turpentine this morning but it didn't work.

And then Seamus makes me feel stupid when it comes to perspective.I plan to study perspective notes again either tomorrow or later after editing my photography shots.

For Maya,so far i think I'm still ok,except I haven't gotten a copy for myself yet.I'm going to try to do the assignment on Monday in the college lab.Hopefully I won't have any problems.Jason made it look easy anyway.

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But on the other hand I keep on thinking whether or not i really really am interested in animation.If not,then maybe later when the software gets more and more complicated I might have a problem and wonder what am I doing in DG major.Last time Syed always asked us if we enjoyed doing 2d animation.For me it was only okok.The technical problems became less and less throughout the term,but it wasn't as if I was getting a big kick out of it.

Maybe it's still too early to tell.Meanwhile my parents just asked me to try my best since I already think that illustration will not provide good job opportunity or pay,so I just have to think about my future.

Maybe I'm still hoping to come to a happy compromise later in my working life,as a designer of some sort.But either way we all have to work our way up to that post,since people generally start out as lowly inbetweening animators.

But I realised that I generally can't handle stress well.Eventhough it's sort of only a small problem,I still manage to stress myself out so much that I cannot sleep.That's why these past few days I purposely tire myself out by doing reading or studying or personal art projects,before I go to sleep.Kind of like last time when I was a kid,I was so afraid of my class teacher that I was scared to go to school and cannot sleep,just kept sighing a lot and rolling about.It seems that academic performance anxiety is still something that I cannot get over with since young.

I know other people probably have bigger college problems than me.No hardware,software,technical advice,moral support from parents,monetary problem,language problems etc.That's why I think if I was an outstation student I will just die.I think I am not mature enough to study overseas or anything yet.