I suddenly feel very stressed now.This term we have to use Macromedia Flash and Autodesk Maya.And I remember that I am not that good at computers.Even last time Photoshop and Illustrator were difficult for me.Then I wonder why I went into animation in the first place,especially since got the word '3D' in front.

3D animation

requires a lot of computers.

but anyway,i think i was too tired in flash animation class the other day and didn't understand much about how to control it.So i think I have to join group 1 again on Monday and study one more time.

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But even since last time I was not sure about which to take,animation or illustration.I think truthfully I'm more interested in illustration.Even now I think of freelancing as an illustrator after I graduate.I think since I was young also I've always wanted to be an illustrator.But how come in the end I went into animation anyway? Because of money only.Because i heard that there is a shortage of animators and an oversupply of illustrators,therefore animators get jobs easier.For the same reason,animators get better salaries as well.

sigh...but I still feel like something is missing in my animation.You know how you can feel if something is going well or not?Eventhough my grades are ok,but I don't feel like a natural animator.Natural illustrator,then probably.

Sure,I like to tell stories, I like to draw.

But separately.

Since I was young I liked to write stories,draw illustrations,draw comics,and then I usually get praises for them.That's why I probably will prefer illustrating stories,rather than animating.I just feel out of my element.Maybe the feeling will change later,i dunno.But that's how I feel now anyway.The other day I read an interview of one of the animators at Pixar,who said the same thing.She studied graphic design in college,but later went into animation.At first she didn't like it,she always felt more of an illustration person,like to do those small drawing details and all.But in the end also she turned out ok in animation.Hopefully it'll be something like that for me later also.

At least I feel a bit better after hearing what Yip Sun said,he said that the lecturers told him,if he's confident of his drawing abilities,then go for something more challenging and do animation.I think I just have to keep on remembering that after all this,at least I'm preparing myself better for working life and not going to paint myself into a corner and become a starving artist.